If there’s any subject destined to cause more stress at your wedding than any other, it’s planning your guest list. You’ve decided between distant cousins and close friends and spared a seat for the Plus Ones of your main bridal parties. There’s just one more group to consider. Do you need to invite your work colleagues?
After family and immediate friends, the people you spend most of your time with are the people at work. When it comes to workplace etiquette, how do you distinguish between who to invite and who to leave out? And, even more nerve-wracking, should you invite your boss?
Mixing your work and home life; the colleague dilemma.
There will be several contributing factors to your decision. On a practical level, you need to consider how many work colleagues you have, and how many spare seats are available on the guest list. After all, there is a cost involved and, most likely, two sets of colleagues to consider.
On a more personal level, how do you feel about combining your work and personal life? If you prefer to keep them separate, it’s perfectly acceptable not to invite anyone from your day job.
If you have room to spare and you’re happy mixing everyone, then inviting work colleagues can be a great idea. You’ll build stronger relationships, and it may even be good for your career. The only question is, how do you decide which work colleagues should be on the guest list?
Deciding which work colleagues should be on the wedding guest list.
You’re probably closer to some workmates than others. If you already consider some friends and spend time out of work socialising with specific people, those are an easy addition to the wedding guest list. But if you only ever grab lunch together because of your shifts, and you wouldn’t stay in touch if you left the company, save that space for your family.
Remember, your wedding day is a special moment, and should be about love, happiness and enjoying the day. Would having any of your colleagues there, or not having them there, impact your enjoyment? If you want to develop friendships further, invite those people to your wedding. On the other hand, if there are individuals who will make you uncomfortable, cut them from the list.
The etiquette of inviting your boss to your wedding.
Should you invite your boss to your wedding? This is a personal decision and will be dependent on your relationship with them. Are they someone that you want to be there? Again, it’s your special day, and only you know if having your boss there will make you feel awkward and distract you from the moment.
The reception-only invitation for wedding guests.
If you’re still stuck on who to invite, or stressing over who may get hurt if they are left out, there is a simple solution. You can always provide some colleagues with reception-only invitations. This courtesy keeps the wedding breakfast costs down while allowing you to avoid hurt feelings.
On a practical level, this may be the only option anyway, especially if your wedding takes place on a working day. Some of your colleagues will be needed at work to keep the business running.
Many venues will have a limit for day and evening guests which can help you choose how to split the invitations. In the Old Dairy Barn at Coton House Farm, for instance, we can seat 120 for a ceremony, but accommodate 220 for the evening party in The Oak Barn.
How to deliver wedding invitations to work colleagues.
Always be aware that where someone is not invited, there may be hurt feelings. It’s up to you whether you think that will be an ongoing issue for you in the workplace.
It’s natural to be excited about your wedding, and you will probably be asked how the planning is going. But, if you know some people will not be getting invites, it’s probably best to keep the wedding chatter to a minimum.
You may like to take a more open approach, and just be clear that the guest list will be limited due to numbers and budget, or you might prefer to say nothing. If you’re asked about invitations, just be polite and tell them honestly that they won’t be invited. You have no obligation to invite anyone to your wedding day if you don’t want to, and most people would understand if you have chosen a more intimate or family-only wedding.
Just remember, if you do invite work colleagues, be very clear on who gets a Plus One and make sure they understand the dress code. This will save any confusion or awkward moments later.
