Asking for Money Instead of Gifts: Tactful Tips for Your Wedding


Have you heard stories about weddings where a couple received three toasters or a ‘unique and unusual’ ornament that must forever be displayed in your home? Would you prefer cash as a wedding gift, so that you can buy exactly what you need?

In the days when couples were moving from the parental home to start newly married life together, guests would provide gifts intended to help them get set up. dining sets and silver butter knives were sought after.

These days, however, a lot of newlyweds would like to be a little more practical. Cash is more versatile, and can build up into a nice little pot that you can put towards a slightly larger purchase – like a down payment on your first house, or your honeymoon.

But is there a tactful way to ask for cash as a wedding gift?

Different ways of receiving a cash gift at your wedding

Cash gifts are becoming more normal in British weddings, to the point where there are now easy ways to receive them. One way is to set up a cash registry.

A cash registry, or cash fund, is simply a website that explains what you are saving for and allows guests to make a simple payment. There are websites, such as Hitchd, that help to set this up, and then facilitate the payments. You can access the funds as soon as they arrive, which means you can pay for your honeymoon in advance, rather than getting into debt first and paying it off after the wedding.

When you set up your cash registry, it’s good to be clear about what the money will be spent on. That way guests feel they are contributing to a specific item. For example, in a honeymoon fund, you might list excursions or a romantic candle-lit dinner. If you are starting a new home, you might specify big-ticket items such as a new sofa or white goods that you’re saving for.

Alternatively, you might ask for gift cards towards a retailer you prefer or have some form of post box at your wedding that allows guests to just slip in an envelope.

How to ask for money as a wedding gift 

Asking for cash as a gift isn’t that unusual, but the way you ask does need to be tactful. There are plenty of stories about how not to ask!

As a point of etiquette, you should not mention gifts on your formal wedding invitations. You do not want to imply that you are only inviting friends and family for the gift they’ll bring.

You may supply additional details on a slip that you insert with the invitation, or invite guests to visit your wedding website. A wedding website is a great idea to keep all the details in one place, including the dress code and timings, and to point out other useful information such as local hotels, taxi numbers and, of course, your preferred gift registry.

Make sure you’ve told close family, your best man and maid of honour as well. They are the most obvious point of contact for anyone who wants to just ask directly what you’d prefer.

Then, on your website or information sheet, you can add a polite request explaining why you would prefer a cash gift. For example,

Our home is all set up. But if you would like to contribute towards our honeymoon fund, it would make our day.

We’re so excited to share our special day with you before we start our new home together. If you’d like to give us a gift, a small contribution would be greatly appreciated.

Your presence at our wedding is the most important thing. However, if you did want to give a gift, we would appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon.

For more wedding etiquette help, make sure you read our blog posts. At Coton House Farm, we’ve been hosting exclusive contemporary weddings for over 20 years, so we’ve got plenty of tips and ideas to help you navigate your way to your perfect wedding.

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